Trouble with file

I got an email today from the agency saying that the judge that has been assigned to my case wants some updated documents.  First, they want a new medical.  The medicals are only valid for six months and mine was one year old.  Sometimes they do not worry about this but in this case they want a new medical and lab tests (blood panel, HIV, HEP and urine).  Second, they want a new reference letter.  For Honduran adoptions the reference letters have to come from very specific people.  They need to be on letterheads from churches, governments or community centres.  It is often the case that people don't know anyone that fits the categories.  My agency told me that the references did not have to know you well, they just need to know who you are and be able to provide some observations on your character.  I happened know some people who fit the categories above who knew me through work or in some other causal way.  However, for the first time since my agency has been doing adoptions from Honduras, the judge wants to see another reference from someone who knows me better.  I spent a full hour on the phone with my agency, on a Saturday afternoon, trying to think of someone who knows me well that would fit the bill.  I know some people who work in community centres but we work for the same organization and their letterhead would be the same as my employment letter.  In the end, my agency said that this would be fine. 

So now I have a new reference letter and a doctor's appointment tomorrow.  What I am really wondering is how much is this going to delay my file because while it will take time to get my medical and blood work then both documents have to go through the long journey that my dossier took.  The documents have to be notarized, sent to the Honduran consulate, sent to the Min of Foreign Affairs (MFA), sent to Honduras, translated and then sent the the MFA in Honduras.  This could take forever.  I am just praying that the papers can be rushed through. 

Home

I have arrived home and everything is fine.  I am tired but very happy to see Ali.  Its back to work tomorrow and the count down til September starts. 

Heading Home

Today I leave for home.  I fly out at 11:45 and will arrive in Victoria at 11:45 pm. 

This trip was much better then I expected.  I was really nervous but everything went so well.  The staff at IHNFA were very nice and the interviews and tests were not as bad as I was thought they would be.  The lawyer was very helpful and went out of her way to make sure I was OK.  The foster mother was also very nice and did what she could to help him to get to know me.  And he was...perfect.  I am so happy it has gone so well. 

And I made out fine on my own.  I was worried about my safety after warnings from my agency and things I read but I made out fine.  I didn't go out in Tegucigalpa and in San Pedro Sula I used the taxi that the lawyer said to use.  The malls and grocery stores are safe and often have banks if you need to change money.  Even at the amusement park I was fine.  I kept my bag close to me and my eyes open and I was OK. 

My Spanish is not very good but I made out with the few words that I did have.  The first few days when my mind was full of adoption worries (interviews, meeting him) I couldn't think about Spanish at all.  My mind was just blank.  But by the time I got to the last day, my words were starting to come back and I was happy I had spent some time over the last few months learning the language.  However, I really need to learn a lot more so I will have to launch into full out studying when I get back. 

So when will I go back to pick up my son?  Well, my agency said three months from the date my file was registered with the courts.  And the lawyer says between two and three months.  I have heard of other cases that are taking in excess of three months.  The lawyer said that this was rare and I would not be this long.  So I am going to go with the three month date.  This seems safe.  It will be a long wait for sure.

Fifth Day

A view of the street

Today was fiesta day.  I was asked on our first meeting with the foster mother if I could spend Sunday at her home to take part in a fiesta for one of the other foster kids birthdays.  Of course I said yes and was looking forward to spending a day in his home. 

The day was fantastic.  I met all the family, friends and other foster families.  I got to see the neighbours and life in their home as it is each day. 

The best part was spending lots of time with him in a setting that was comfortable and familiar.  I spent loads of time playing with him and the other kids on the floor.  Other times I just watched as he played with the other kids.  I could be in his space without over whelming him.  It worked so well. 

The last part of the day was the fiesta.  Food was a typical Honduran meal with beef, cheese, beans, some vegetables and pita bread.  Then it was pinata time which was a hoot for the kids.  By the time we had the cake the taxi was at the door and it was time to go.  The day just flew by.  It was sad to say goodbye and he ran and hid when I finally went to the taxi.

Getting Ready

Pinata time

A Rush for the Treats

I just can't imagine how hard it is for him.  He asked all the time "When are we going to your house?"  The foster mother has been telling him for a year that he would be getting a new family and then I come and leave.  He didn't seem to understand that I couldn't take him now but would be back.  I do have the family's email address and will keep in touch.  I pray that there will be no delays and I will be back by September.

Fourth Day

The lawyer and her daughter headed back home first thing and my son arrived not long after.  I planned to play in the pool since it was so hot but his foster mother did not bring his bathing suit and she seemed worried about the thought of him being in the water, so we spent some time in the playground.   The foster mother stayed in the room to give us some time alone.  Yesterday, he had been shy of the camera but today I was able to get some good shots.  He also wanted to try the camera and took some photos of me.

The photo he took of me!

 Lunch followed and then we headed out for another trip to the mall.  IHNFA had asked me to get some photos done, one of me alone and one of him and me together.  These photos were to be placed in frames and then put beside his bed so that he could look at them each night.  We had the pictures taken yesterday and needed to go and pick them up.  The foster mother also needed to get supplies for a fiesta she is planning for tomorrow. 

We spent two hours at the mall buying supplies and clothes for the birthday child.  We then headed to the amusement park for an hour.  We went on only four rides as he was too young for most of the other rides.  He did enjoy the rides we went on and kept asking to go on the giant roller coaster.  Then it was off to the grocery store for more supplies and then back to the hotel for the night.

It was a lovely day all round and he was so well behaved especially since we spent so much time shopping for the fiesta.  He never complained.  He was certainly more relaxed today and talked a lot about coming to Canada.  I find it so hard to think that now we will have to wait before this can be a reality.

Third Day

Well, what a great day!!  My son is wonderful and was so excited.  He is a shy which is understandable under the circumstances. 

We got to the IHNFA offices at 9:00 and he and his foster mother arrived at 9:30.  I saw him coming through the window.  He came in and it was very emotional.  We then went into an office and a Social Worker went though his file and gave me the pictures they had from when he was a baby.  She also gave instructions to myself and the foster mother.  We were told that we were to spend the next three days together from 10:00 to 6:00 and that the foster mother was to give us some time alone. 

Next we headed to the mall to by him some clothes.  He was so excited!  He loves orange and red so everything he bought, except the jeans, were this colour.  He likes blocks so I picked up some Lego.  The grocery store was the next stop.  The foster mother picked out what she need while I pushed him around in the shopping cart.  He didn't seem familiar with a big grocery store or shopping carts and when he saw another kids riding in the cart that is what he wanted to do. 

After the shopping was done we headed to his home.  His lives in a neat little house with his foster mother and three other foster children.  The house was neat and clean and the children were well cared for.  We sat on the front patio and watched the children playing with the Lego which was a huge hit.  We spent some time looking through the photo book I brought with me.  We weren't there long when the lawyer's daughter said that he wanted to see my hotel.  So we headed there next. 

He was excited by the hotel especially the playground.  I don't think he has been to many playgrounds as I had to show him how to use the swing and the slide.  He was so excited and just ran from one thing to another.  And then back to the hotel room and then back to the playground. 

Dinner followed and I had a chance to ask the foster mother questions about my son and his life and likes and dislikes.  He was very well behaved in the restaurant and ate everything.  They headed home around 7:30.  It was a jam packed exciting day.

PS.  I won't post pictures of him until I am through the court system. 

Second Day

Today started out with a visit to the Court to register my papers.  I had to sign a few things but I did not see the rest of the documents that made up the large file.  We arrived and went through security and then walked to a large room with lots of people waiting.  We went past them to one of the clerks at the front and we handed over my file.  They checked my passport and we were done.  We were in and out in under 10 minutes. 

Then it was time for the testing at IHNFA.  First up was the MMPI which I have done before except this time it was done with pencil and paper filling in lots of little circles.  I went with the first answer that popped into my head on this and didn't stress it too much. 

The second part was a set of questions that took up about three or four pages.  There were questions like:

     What was the event that left the most impression in your life.

     What was the happiness event.

     What was the saddest.

     Name someone you admire

     Name someone you don't like

     If you had your life over what would you become. 

I really had to think about some of these questions and I am sure if I wasn't in a stressful situation I would have done a better job answering them.  I didn't have to draw a picture of a person as other people before me have had to do.

I was done the whole process in under 2 hours which was very fast according to my lawyer.  I had to wait an hour for her to pick me up as she expected me to be longer. 

Then it was off to the bus station to catch the bus to San Pedro Sula were my son lives.  The bus was very luxurious and they handed out blankets and pillows and drinks and snacks.  The air conditioning was freezing so the blankets were a necessity.  The journey took just over 4 hours and seemed slow due to construction on the road. 

The hotel is the Villa Nuria and it took about half an hour from the bus station.  The rooms are like little apartments with two bedrooms and a small kitchen.  There is also a great pool, playground and restaurant.  The lawyer and her daughter (who speaks great English) are staying in the room with me. The room is $64 a night for the three of us and will be reduced to $59 when I am on my own.  

Tomorrow is the big day.  I get to meet him!!!!!

Shots of the Hotel

Kitchen Area

View to Living Room



One of the Bedrooms



My Room under the Stairs

The Pool

First Day

Today I had my interviews at IHNFA.  The first interview was with the psychologist and lasted one hour.  She was very nice and asked me questions about my upbringing, family, school years etc.  She also asked about how I parent and how I plan to deal with issues that will arise once my son joins our family. 

Next was the interview with the Social Worker.  She was super nice and had the same name as my sister which started us off discussing my family.  She had read through my whole file and home study and made comments about my daughter and my family.  Her questions where similar to the first set.  She also asked my thoughts on the Honduran adoption program in comparison with Nepal.  This interview also lasted an hour.

When the interviews were done my lawyer was busy so the interpreter took me back to the hotel.  He offered first to take me to the big mall since he had to go there anyway.  So we went to the mall where many of the stores were the same as in Canada.  After this it was back to the hotel for lunch and some time relaxing on the roof. 

The Humuya has wireless Internet and some computers.  I couldn't get the computers to work right so I will stick to my Ip*d for emails and catch up this blog when I get home.

View from the roof of the Hotel.

 It rained in the late afternoon which was refreshing.  The temperatures have been in the high 20s F.

Arrived

I arrived safely and on time.  The flights were great with no delays or difficulties.  I had a window seat so I could see Honduras from the air.  I actual spent more time in airports then I did in the air!

My Cosy Bed

The lawyer met me at the airport and took me straight to the hotel.  I am staying at the Humuya Inn which is around the corner from IHNFA where I will have an interview with a social worker and psychiatrist.  My interviews are tomorrow and we will leave the hotel at 8:30. 

The Hotel is great with friendly staff and a beautiful roof top patio.  There is a restaurant so you don't have to leave the hotel for food.  I have been told that I can't walk around the area as it is unsafe so I must take a taxi to go anywhere.  Right now I am going to head to bed for an afternoon nap.

Private Balcony

Leaving Today

It's finally here.  I am leaving today flying from Victoria to Seattle then to Houston and then Tegucigalpa.  I leave from Victoria at 7:00 pm and arrive in Honduras at 11:00 tomorrow.  I am nervous and excited at the same time.

This will be the first of two trips required for a Honduran adoption.  On this first trip I will be interviewed and tested at the Instituto Hondureño de la Niñez y la Familia (IHNFA).  The results these tests will be compiled by a social worker and will be submitted by IHNFA to the family court.  My lawyer will also submit my file to the court and this will start the process of obtaining a court order to make me the legal parent.  This will take around three months. 

Once this is done I will travel from the capital Tegucigalpa to San Pedro Sula where my son is.  There I will meet him and spend a few days getting to know him and his foster family. 

On the second trip will gain custody of my son and then wait for a new birth certificate, passport and for the immigration process.  I will be in the country for a month. 

For this trip my I was asked to bring a photo book of our life in Canada.  I didn't have a lot of time to get this done and my agency said not to spend a lot of time making it fancy.  They suggested one of those small free photo books.  My friend Monica helped out by writing out comments in Spanish so his foster mother could tell him what each picture is.


I included pictures of......

                          My family - individual and group shots, dog included
                          Our house - most of the rooms and the back and front yards
                          Our neighbourhood - the school he will attend, beaches, playgrounds.  I also added
                                                            some pictures of Ali playing in the snow. 

I also brought along a few small toys.  I didn't bring clothes as I don't know his size but I will take him on a shopping trip while I am there and he can pick out some clothes that he likes. 

I hope this trip goes well.  I have waited so long for this moment.
                                                       

AMAZING!!

Here is a post that I started on Monday regarding the wait for my appointment date in Honduras. 

Well, now I wait for an appointment or travel date.  I expect to wait any where from three weeks to two months to get the date and then expect to go within a month after that.  I expect that I could be going in mid August. 

I was wrong. 



I


was


off


by


two


months.







MY APPOINTMENT IS JUNE 15!!!!!!  I LEAVE FOR HONDURAS IN 11 DAYS!!!!! 

I can't believe it.  I received my appointment date in 5 days.  I got home on Tuesday to a message from my agency asking me to call them immediately because my appointment date was June 15.  They wanted me to confirm that evening.   I had to call my boss at home to make sure this was OK as we have a huge event happening on the 18th but I wasn't going to say no.  So I am almost on my way and will soon meet him.  I still can't believe it. 

I have so much to do that my mind keeps freezing.  I have the flights and hotels booked so that is a good start.  My agency sends a new list of things to remember every day and it just makes me more excited with each email.  I need to quickly brush up on the tiny bit of Spanish that I know!

PS.  Thanks for the comments.  For some unknown reasons blogger will not let me post comments on my blog or anyone other blog.  Lisa, you are in my prayers.