The continuing saga of the psychology report

Well, after the rejection up my updated report in October, I waited for the Ministry of Adoption to send out some guidelines.  Did we get this?  No, all we got was a letter saying that the report had to include an analysis.  So, the day before going on vacation I had to call my psychologist to redo the report although I didn't really know what he had to change.  I was calling him and emailing my agency in Ontario.  And I left believing that my agency would talk to my psychologist and get a new report sent out.  So a week or so into my vacation I checked my email expecting to see the new report.  Nothing.  I asked my agency if they had heard anything.  No, they hadn't heard.  So during my third week I was trying to get my psychologist to talk to my agency to get this worked out.  By the time I got home, the report was done and being scanned to the lawyer in the country.  Finally, I thought this would all be over.

REJECTED.  This is the message I got yesterday.  NOT GOOD ENOUGH.  The five page document was not enough.  Apparently, my psychologist didn't write enough about my personality.  I called him and his response was that he had written enough.  I couldn't seem to explain what needed to be done.  I looked at some examples that were sent to me and then sent an email.  No response.  I tried calling today.  No response.  He was supposed to call my agency today.  Didn't happen.

So now I don't know what to do.  I need this report done so that it can be accepted and yet my psychologist doesn't think he needs to change anything.  I don't know what to do at this point.  I mean, this adoption will be over if I don't get this report done and done right.

I am so tired of this.  It has been going on for over 2 months with no end in site.  Tomorrow I will have to try calling again and if there is again no response or if he tells me he can't do anymore, I am going to have to decide on whether to remove my dossier or pay another $1,000 for a whole new evaluation and testing report.  Plus, this will delay the whole thing by 3 months.  This is just unbelievable.  I just don't know what the answer is.

Arriving Home

The last day in Hong Kong was spent wondering around by the harbour, shopping and watching the nighttime laser show.  The buildings on Hong Kong Island are all lit up and have lasers that flash in time to music.  It was quite interesting.  We then flew home and arrived to snow, just light snow but by the time we got home the next day from my parents everything was white.  Here are some final shots from the trip.



Nepal and Hong Kong

Hong Kong Park and Victoria Peak

One of the best parts of Hong Kong has to be their parks.  On Wednesday, we visited Hong Kong Park and we were there for several hours.  We started at the Tea Ware Museum where they had very old tea pots, information on different teas and modern art tea pots.  Then we spent time wondering around the pond and through the free conservatory. 

Hong Kong Park

Pond and waterfall

Conservatory in Hong Kong Park



The best part of this park, in my opinion, was the walk through aviary.  It was huge and had an elevated boardwalk so you could look down on the ground dwelling birds and up at those in the trees.  I would highly recommend this place to anyone.  And it was free. 

Mom in the Aviary

Hong Kong Park Aviary

White Bird

Red Bird

Ali and the peanut eating Parrot

Next we headed up Victoria peak, a high point on Hong Kong Island.  We took a tram up the steep hill and arrived at a "tourist trap mall" as my mother called it.  In order to see the view without paying more money, we went for a walk around the the hill.  It literally went right around the peak and was 3.5 km in length.  There were great views from here and it was a very nice walk through the trees.

View of Hong Kong

View of Hong Kong

Walking through the trees



Ali's Favourite Day



Monday was Ali's birthday but we celebrated it on Tuesday by going to DL Hong Kong.  It is smaller then the american ones but it was easy to get around in one day and there were no crowds.  Not sure why there were no crowds when we had read on the internet to be prepared for long waits.  Maybe it was because there was no parade that day and small world was closed.  Whatever it was it made a better visit for us as the longest we had to wait was 20 mins.  Many rides had no waits and we got off and went right back on.  The best in my opinion was the 3D show.  Ali, I think, liked everything. 







On the Train to DL

Flying Hgh

In the Tea Cup

Ali and Dad on Tarzan's Island







Ali and her Grandad



Back in Hong Kong

On Saturday night we left Kathmandu and flew over night to Hong Kong.  We arrived at the hotel around 9 am and went straight to bed for a nap.  But we were up by lunch so we could go and see the Tai Chi demonstration in Kowloon Park.  My Dad has missed this each time he has been to Kong Hong so we planned this trip so we would be there for Sunday afternoon.  The show was put on by a local club and it is a different club each week.

Dragon Dancing at the Tai Chi show

We spent the next day, Monday, walking around the city.  It is such a lively city with lots of sites to see.  We visited the market and did some shopping.  We went to the flower market with shops packed with orchids and then to the Bird Market.  The Bird Market was very interesting.  Anything you wanted to for birds was there.  Bamboo cages, little chinese bowls for food and lots of live insects.  What is interesting about this park was that owners bring their birds in their cages to the park and hang them in the trees.  The owners then can sit and visit with other bird owners. 

Looking at the birds for sale



Hanging out





Friends

During our time in Nepal we saw some old friends and met some new ones. 

We met Mann, Seema and Liza and stayed with them in the apartment.

We saw Jagat and his family again.  Jagat was a big help when I adopted Ali.  Jagat's kids and Ali played together all the time. They lived upstairs from Mann.



We saw Kamal again and met with new wife. 

We also had a good time at the Laughing Buddha Restaurant with Nira, Rekha and their family.

And there was Chris who hung out in the kitchen for a few days.

Durbar Square

Our last full day we spent going to the old market and to Durbar Square.  This is an area with old temples and palaces.  The first place we visited in the square was the home of the living goddness, the Kumari.  The Kumari is a young girl who is from the Shakya caste and goes through a long selection process to become a living goddness.  They say that when a girl is selected who has the right birth day and the proper attributes, the goddess Taleju enters her body and will stay until puberty.  The young girl lives in the palace and only comes out on special occasions.  She is carried as her feet can't touch the earth.  She will sometimes also make appearances at the third floor window of her palace. 

We went into the court yard of her palace to have a look.  While we were looking a man was talking on a cell phone and my friend Jagat was listening in.  He then told us that we must stay as a large tour group was coming and the goddess would make an appearance.  Sure enough tons of people showed up and once the goddess handlers were convinced that all cameras were away, as no photos are allowed, the goddess appeared.  Her appearance was brief but we were happy to have seen her especially as a sighting of her is suppost to bring good luck. 

The Kumari's Palace



We then looked at the other temples, including one that was made from single tree.  It is from this temple that the city of Kathmandu got its name. 



The temple from one tree



Temple carvings

Temples, cows and pigeons



We brought Jagat's daughter Puja along for the day as she and Ali had become good friends.  We ended the day in Thamel for lunch.

Ali and Puja

Ali and Puja



Pashupatinath and Boudhanath

Thursday we spent the day visiting two religious sites, one Hindu and the other Buddhist.  The first place we went was a scared Hindu temple Pashupatinath.  We did not go into the temple as you have to be Hindu.  The temple is golden and is quite old although we were not told exactly how old.  Inside is a stone shaped like Shiva that was not carved but self materialized from a piece of Shiva's horn when he spent time as a goat.  But the main attraction at this site is the burning ghats along the river.  This is where the people of Kathmandu bring their dead to be cremated.  There were some fires underway but we spent our time watching a family build the funneral pyre for a family member.  The bodies are wrapped in orange cloths and covered with marigolds after death.

Pashupatinath

We then moved on to one of my favourite places, the stupa at Boudhanath.  We spent some time again spinning prayer wheels and just taking in the atmosphere before having some lunch and heading home.

The stupa

Ali and the giant prayer wheel

Prayer flags in the wind

The story in tourist book on the stupa is that a women went to the king to get some land to make an offering to Buddha using her savings from raising poultry.  The king said that she could have a piece of land that would be the size of the area covered by one water buffalo skin.  The women took a buffalo skin and cut it into small strips and laid them end to end to get the site that is there today.

Back to Kathmandu

After a long and interesting bus ride, we were back in Kathmandu.  The bus ride was about 5 hours long.  We left Pokara in fog so we didn't see the mountains but the scenes of life along highway next to the river where very interesting.

Spinning the Prayer Wheels

Wednesday we visited a friend's family and then we headed for the Monkey Temple or Swayambhunath.  This is a Buddhist temple on top of a hill over looking Kathmandu and called the Monkey Temple due to the large number of monkeys that roam the site.  There are two ways to get to the stupa.  One is up a huuuuuge flight of stairs and the other is along a gentler sloping path and stairs.  I don't mind climbing stairs but Ali, well thats another story.  Needless to say, we had the taxi take us to the back along the gentle route.  Ali seemed to enjoy this site.  She liked the monkeys but she also enjoyed the whole site.  She loved turning the prayer wheels to send prayers to heaven, and she liked the view over the city.  She also liked all the Tibetan items for sale especially the hand held prayer wheel.  We took the long flight of stairs out of the site as I figured she could probably handle them going down.  As we walked to the taxi a huge group of monkeys ran across our path which Ali enjoyed.  To finish off a good day we had pizza at the Road House Cafe in Thamel.  Another Ali favourite. 

Below is a video of the view of the city and a few shots.

View from Swayambhunath from Wendy Marshall on Vimeo.


Our friend Jagat and Ali

Ali spinning a prayer wheel





On the way down



A few more things from Pokara

Phumdi Bumdi

While Ali was busy "working" at the restaurant on Friday, I joined by Mom as she opened a library at a school in Phumdi Bumdi.  We crammed ourselves into a taxi, me on my Dad's lap and headed out on the 45 min journey the last part of it (15 mins) on an extremely uneven and bumpy stone road.  The road was had built by the villagers and climbed steeply up.  It was an uncomfortable ride when your crammed in a taxi. Once at the school we were given malas and there was a ceremony before we were taken to a house for lunch. And the view was great.

Me and malas

View from Phumbi Bhumbi

Phumbi Bhumbi

The Mountain Museum

We spent Monday morning at this interest museam all about mountains and the Nepali people.  Rekha came with us and she seemed to enjoy the site.  Ali enjoyed the fake white mountain outside which we all climbed for fun.

Up in a swing



This is Ali on a bamboo swing.  I have been waiting for years to see these swings which are only put up during the Dashain and Tihar holidays.  As we travelled around Kathmandu and Chitwan we saw these swings in empty fields, in school yards or along side the road.  Once the holidays are over the swings are removed.  It wasn't until we were in Pokara that we had a chance to try a swing out.  I spent the time taking pictures while Ali and a friend Sunita had a go.  But I really wanted to try it out so a few days later I visited the site again only to find out that the swing was much harder then it looked.  First, I discovered that the swing is high, well at least for me.  The swing was level with my shoulder blades.  But with a lot of pulling and jumping, I got on.  Then there was a new problem.  I discovered that tall swings with long heavy ropes are extremely difficult to move especially when your feet can't touch the ground.  No amount leg pumping and arm pulling was going to make that swing move.  Fortunately, help was on the way.  From way across the field a girl of about 10 saw me struggling and came running to push me.  Finally, I got to go up in the air and down on a bamboo swing.   

Tihar

We were lucky enough to be in Pokara for the Tihar Festival, the Festival of Light.  It is a five day festival with different religious aspects to each day.   It was a great time to be in Pokara.  There was tons of dancing on the streets and kids going arounding singing a little song for money.  And then there were the lights, lots of little oil lamps and candles on ledges and stairs.  It was really enjoyable. 

The first day of the festival is Kag Tihar or Crows Day.  Crows are offered food on a plate made of leaves.  We didn't actually see this happen as it is done in early morning. 

The second day of the festival is the day to honor dogs or Kukur Tihar.  Dogs are given a small ceremony where they get tikas, malas, and some food.  The rest of the day you can see dogs running the street with their red heads and necklaces of marigolds.  The video below shows a bit of the ceremony. 

Dog day from Wendy Marshall on Vimeo.

The third day is Laxmi Puja or the day to honor cows.  I didn't see this ceremony performed but did see lots of cows with marigolds around their necks and circles of some sort of powder on their bodies.  The evening of this day is Laxmi Puja when the goddess Laxmi is worshipped.  This is when the oil lamps and candles are lit.  Families also make a circle out of mud in front of their house and place on oil lamp on it.  A mud path is made from the circle into the house to a place where the family keeps their money.  The evening in Pokara was also the time of the street dancing.  There were dance groups that would set up with speakers and kids would dance the traditional dances.  Each show would go on for a long time and then there would be another not far up the street.  You can watch some dancing in the video below.

Dancing in Pokara from Wendy Marshall on Vimeo.


The fourth day is different depending on which area of Nepal you are from.  What we saw was more oil lamps and more dancing which we enjoyed throughly. 

Everything is ready

The last day is Bhai Tika day or the day to honor brothers.  We were invited to the house of a school principal, Tol Prasat, who helps my mother with the Women's Literacy Program.  We arrived at 11:00 and waited while the family prepared for the ceremony.  We sat outside on a mat and the ceremony began with the women walking around with some marigolds while dripping water through the flowers and walking three times around everyone.  Then it was time to place the tikas on.  Alhough this is the day to honor the brothers, we were also given tikas as we were special guests.  Banana leaves were cut and used as a stencil to give the shape of the tika.  The leaves are placed on the forehead and a flour type paste applied.  The different coloured powders were then applied.  Once the tika was in place a marigold mala was placed around our necks.  Of course, then it was time for food, lots of food.  The first plate contained sweets and fruits and some hard fried noodles.  Then came the dal bhat.  I was stuffed.  It was a great day through and I am so happy to have experienced this ceremony with Tol and his family.

Dripping water through Marigolds

Applying the Tika through the banana leaf



Sitting on the mat before we ate



Ali with her tika and marigold malas



Our plate of food

Tol Prasat and his family