Thursday, March 31, 2011

Waiting....waiting.....waiting.....

And more waiting.  I was thinking about waiting all day yesterday and was feeling a bit (a lot) tired of waiting.  Really, the adoption journey is mostly just sitting and waiting.  You always seem to be waiting for something that never seems to happen.  When I started out on this journey Nepal closed just as I was starting my homestudy.  So I waited.  Month by month.  For a new law.  New election.  Some other thing.  Until it finally opened.  Then I was sure I would have a referral by the end of 2009.  I even told my boss that I would be off at the end of 2009.  Never happened.  But I thought for sure that it would happen in 2010 especially after the rumors said that all files would be matched by April.  Ya Right.  Now I seem to be in the same situation.  I am waiting for something that is going to happen at the next meeting.  The problem is that the next meeting keeps getting cancelled.  So I wait. 

What is difficult about waiting, especially for something that is supposed to happen in the next few months, is that you put your life on hold.  You don't take holidays.  You don't take new jobs.  You don't sign up for something.  You don't do these things because you think you will get a referral and you will have to rush off to bring your child home. 

I decided when I started this new adoption that I wasn't going to do that any more.  Life was passing me by as I waited.  So I went on the big holiday to Nepal.  I have signed up for Yoga retreats months in advance.  And I am considering other things as well (which I will post about later).  And after getting the news on Monday that the meeting was cancelled again, I am glad that I am taking this approach.  I am tried of passing up on life experience, like trips to India (missed because I thought I would be in Nepal completing my adoption) for something that never happens.  Now I am just moving forward.  And if the news finally comes and I have something else planned, well then I will work around it.  I am no longer just going to sit and wait.  I have done that long enough. 

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