Waiting....waiting.....waiting.....

And more waiting.  I was thinking about waiting all day yesterday and was feeling a bit (a lot) tired of waiting.  Really, the adoption journey is mostly just sitting and waiting.  You always seem to be waiting for something that never seems to happen.  When I started out on this journey Nepal closed just as I was starting my homestudy.  So I waited.  Month by month.  For a new law.  New election.  Some other thing.  Until it finally opened.  Then I was sure I would have a referral by the end of 2009.  I even told my boss that I would be off at the end of 2009.  Never happened.  But I thought for sure that it would happen in 2010 especially after the rumors said that all files would be matched by April.  Ya Right.  Now I seem to be in the same situation.  I am waiting for something that is going to happen at the next meeting.  The problem is that the next meeting keeps getting cancelled.  So I wait. 

What is difficult about waiting, especially for something that is supposed to happen in the next few months, is that you put your life on hold.  You don't take holidays.  You don't take new jobs.  You don't sign up for something.  You don't do these things because you think you will get a referral and you will have to rush off to bring your child home. 

I decided when I started this new adoption that I wasn't going to do that any more.  Life was passing me by as I waited.  So I went on the big holiday to Nepal.  I have signed up for Yoga retreats months in advance.  And I am considering other things as well (which I will post about later).  And after getting the news on Monday that the meeting was cancelled again, I am glad that I am taking this approach.  I am tried of passing up on life experience, like trips to India (missed because I thought I would be in Nepal completing my adoption) for something that never happens.  Now I am just moving forward.  And if the news finally comes and I have something else planned, well then I will work around it.  I am no longer just going to sit and wait.  I have done that long enough. 

Good News in the Blog World

Wow!  Two referrals today for two families on blogs I follow. 

Early in 2009 I discovered blogs.  I had seen them before but never really followed them until I found blogs of other families going through an adoption from Nepal.  I could relate to the families in these blogs as we were all going through the same things.  I didn't feel alone in the journey when someone wrote about their frustrations with the process or how they would think about their future child.  And even when the Nepal program closed, I continued to follow these families as they chose different paths after the heartbreak of Nepal.  Many of them have had success and it makes me feel so happy that these families have found their child finally.  One of the families that received a referral today was so heartbroken after Nepal and then a few weeks ago the news out of their new country Ethiopia was not good.  I could really feel her pain through this past year.  And now she has the news she has waited for.  She will finally be a mother!

I really hope that this good news continues for others still waiting.  I have found some new blogs lately of families still hurting from Nepal, still waiting for their child.  Lets hope and pray that soon they all recieve the news that the two families got today: Referral. 

Seattle

Its March break here and I decided that it would be a good time for a small get-a-way so Ali, myself and my Dad headed to Seattle for the weekend.  We took the Clipper from Victoria, a passenger ferry that leaves from the harbour in Victoria and goes to downtown Seattle.  The trip was 3 hours and boy was it rough.  Ali, who has been on lots of ferries with no problem, got sea sick but by the time we entered the calmer waters near Seattle she was feeling much better. 

On Saturday we headed to the famous Pike Street Market and wandered around before heading up to the major shopping area.  Ali had a bit of money to spend from her allowance and extra money for doing good on her report card.  This was sure burning a hole in her pocket and she couldn't wait to spend it.  She bought herself a ring.  I bought her a whole new wardrobe from Old Navy since she has almost outgrown or worn out all her clothes.  Here are a few scenes from the market.

Sunday was Ali's favourite day.  We went to the Science Centre and the Imax.  Ali spent the day running around from thing to thing.  She didn't know what to do first.  My Dad enjoyed the Butterfly Conservatory. 

Ali's little foot next to a dinosaur foot print

If Ali lived on the sun she would weigh over 1,500 lbs!

Ali would not hold this Hissing Cockroach.  I don't blame her!

Ali has two heads!

The trip back on the ferry was much smoother and to make it easier for Ali I got her a sea sick pill.  It knocked her out for the whole trip waking up just as we pulled into the harbour in Victoria.  Overall, it was a great weekend get-a-away!

A request from Immigration

I have heard twice from the Immigration Dpartment since sending in my paperwork.  First I recieved a letter last week stating that they had recieved my application and that it would take 20 weeks to review my file.  Yes, 20 weeks!!  I was told it would take six not 20.  I called my agency right away but they said that it wasn't a problem and if I did get a referral before I had the paperwork, they had some people they could contact regarding the problem.

Then on Tuesday there was a message on my machine asking me to contact them.  They had reviewed my paperwork and I did not send a certified copy of the back of my birth certificiate.  The back of my birth certificate is blank, nothing there.  But that does not matter to the immigration department.  I guess they want proof that the back of the document is blank.  So, yesterday I had to get a certified copy of the back of my birth certificate and send the document xpress post. Total cost was $40.00 to send a copy of a black space.  Whatever.  At least they are reviewing my application which makes me think that I will get a response quicker then the 20 weeks. 

Immigration

I finally got around to doing my immigration paperwork.   I went the citizenship route after my agency recommended this route as it is much easier.  In Canada we have two options: citizenship or permanent resident visa.  With the resident visa a medical is required which can cause delays with the process.  With the citizenship route a medical is not required.  The paperwork was straight forward and they were looking for proof that I was a Canadian citizen so along with the forms I needed to send in notarized copies of my birth certificate, passport etc.  Once everything is reviewed and approved, I will get a case number and the second set of forms.  These will be filled out once the adoption is complete.  I am not sure how long it will take to get my case number. 

I waited a while to fill out the immigration forms as I thought the approval was only good for a year but it turns out it won't expire for two years.  Plus, I now think that I am going to get a referral very soon and I want to be ready.

This time of year.

Two years ago on this very weekend I was happily filling out the paperwork and getting all my documents together for Nepal.  I had my homestudy completed the September before and the agency had assured me that they would be ready to go when Nepal opened on Jan 1.  Well, they were a little late....and it was the begining of a nightmare.  Everything just went down hill from that day forward. 

Last year at this time I was in a state of shock and disbelief at the news that Canada had put a hold on referrals from Nepal and were investigating the program.  We were warned that it was highly likely that Canada would close the program.  It was the begining of months of tears.  And the end finally came in June.

It was also at this time last year that I first investigated the country where my dossier now sits.  It would take me a few months to sign up, after the emotion and the fighting for Nepal was done. 

I still think about what happened and how it all played out.  I think about how I had bad feelings about the Nepal program all along.  How stressed I was.  And how hard it was when it ended. 

I have moved on now though.  And last weekend I actually shredded my Nepal dossier, or the copy of it that the agency returned to me.  It took me along time to get to this point.  I felt that it was time to finally let it all go. 

Now, in a year from now, when I look back to Feb 14, 2011, I think it will be a happy memory because I think a referral is coming.....soon.

A New Number

My agency told me in December that they would provide me with an updated number, or my number in the line to a referral.  With the issue of the psychology report we weren't sure whether I had stayed in line or not.  This week I recieved by new number and I now know that my file was removed or other files moved ahead.  My number is now higher then it was before so I have move farther back from the front.  However, I haven't moved that far back.  I am still quiet close to the front. 

As for the length of time to referral, I do think it will happen this year.  The questions is when.  I was told in September that it would probably be within six months but that was before the psychology report fiasco.  So really, I need to start counting all over again.  And, now that I am farther back in the list, I think the time will be longer.  I am not worrying about this though.  If I got a referral by summer, I would be very happy.  I might start getting impatient if I don't have one by fall.  But only time will tell.